Transvestite Rave Party on Acid

I have never done acid or ecstasy. I have never been to a transvestite rave party. Alas, I’ve never been invited to one. However, I have seen movies and Broadway operas that have been directed by Australian Baz Luhrmann, so I believe that I have a pretty good idea what these things would be like. I realize that I am not the target market for shitty musicals starring Nicole Kidman and Ewan McGregor, and that my approval or disapproval carries very little weight with Hollywood producers. But I must insist, that under absolutely no circumstances can America survive an adaptation of The Great Gatsby in 3 FUCKING DIMENSIONS. By all means, continue rebooting every comic book and superhero movie in 3-D. Slasher films are also acceptable. But for the love of God, leave Fitzgerald alone! The man suffered enough during his lifetime, there is no need to exhume his corpse and poke him in the eye with a paddle ball game AIMED DIRECTLY AT THE AUDIENCE!!!!