You got me. FuckBobRyan was rejected immediately by AOL‘s servers. And as far as I know, Jim Vance‘s HIV has been under control for years thanks to a combination of antivirals and has never advanced to full blown AIDS. (If Jim Vance is reading this, “Holy Shit! I’ve hit the big time” and also, “I’m just joking. I assume that you do not have any communicable immune diseases.”)
Digression and quick lesson for the kids these days: AIM was what nerds like Mark Zuckerberg had to use to creepily stalk girls before he invented Facebook, making creepy stalking much much easier.
Which brings us back to Bob Ryan. Today, Montgomery County Public Schools were closed. Not being of a school-going age, I am free to be a curmudgeon and complain about this on my personal web-blog. Today’s closing was well beyond ludicrous, and bordered on the criminal as the extent of the morning’s winter weather consisted of about an inch and a half of warm slush (Not surprising considering the temperature was a balmy 36 degrees Fahrenheit). And don’t give me this, “it must have been worse up-county in the mountains.” The highest elevation in Montgomery County is about 880 feet above sea level, (I looked it up) hardly Mt. Everest territory (29,029 feet above sea level).
Which leaves only one scapegoat: Bob Ryan. How quickly we forget after the blizzards of 09-10 that well over 90% of huge storm predictions made by Mid-Atlantic based weather psychics (I do not deign to call them “meteorologists”) are wrong. (I made this statistic up. I am now qualified to be a weather man.) A quick tip for the superintendent of MCPS the next time you are tempted to cancel school: look out your window. If you see no snow on the ground, AND Bob Ryan is predicting SNOWMAGEDON, you can safely commence normal school day operations with 98.6% confidence that the weather will be fine. (Margin of error +/- 4%. See. There’s a second statistic that I made up. I’ve also used incorrect terminology in an attempt to clarify confuse the issue. I’m now also qualified to be a political analyst!)
Shorter post you just read: Fuck Bob Ryan.
apatheticallydecomposing 
Wow, a blog post bitching about the inaccuracy of weathermen. We’ve come a long way in a short time.
SNAP.
No, seriously, I don’t like Bob Ryan either. One time he sat in front of me on a plane (in coach! Bob Ryan flies coach! He’s JUST LIKE US!) and he reclined the entire time, leaving me with precious little leg-room. What an asshole.
Also, JimVanceHasAIDS. That is all.