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Archive for the ‘Music’ Category

On Ointments and Flies

When a great artist dies in this connected age, the sheer volume of reverent eulogizing, particularly on social media can be overwhelming. The case of David Bowie was no exception. Less often discussed during the mourning period are those facts that call into question the character of the artist, or make us feel uncomfortable thoughts about their legacy. David Bowie had sex with at least one 14 year-old girl. You can Google it!

“Hey man, why do you have to bring that up! Why can’t you let me/us appreciate and remember the art and all it means to me?! Why are you always shitting in the punch bowl/being such a troll?”

To answer the questions briefly in order:

  1. Because it is a true thing that happened
  2. You can/should appreciate the art and all it means to you!
  3. I think I have some kind of sickness.

To answer the questions verbosely in a rambling and incoherent way, I’ll be below the break.

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It was supposed to be like any other Tuesday in Washington, DC: Live Band Karaoke at the Wonderland Ballroom with H-Cskillz

The story you are about to read is true.

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Love.

I don’t get enough of it

All I get is these vampires and blood suckers

All I see is these niggas I made millionaires

Millin’ about, spillin’ they feelins in the air

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Contrary to what you may have heard from the Westboro Baptist Church, God does not hate fags. He hates rapists. So it is with as much pleasure I can muster for a game that I don’t really care about to congratulate the Green Bay Packers on their victory over the Pittsburgh Steelers in Super Bowl Big Game Roman Numeral Equal to 45.

In advertising Prop Bet news: on first pass, there were quite a few mustaches, and Aliens crushed desert islands (Cowboys vs. Aliens?!?!? 2 Props in one!). Final score determinations will be made after a full review. Stay tuned…

Also: Aaron Rodgers is handsome, and Glee is horrible. Listen, I love auto-tune as much (more) than the average musically inclined person. But only when auto-tune is used in the style of Cher/T-Pain. When auto-tune is used to make shitty actors “passable” singers, it is evil. Fred Phelps needs to declare war on a new enemy.

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Synergy!

Regular readers will recall last Tuesday’s Live Band Karaoke throwdown. Songs were sung. Shots were consumed. Prices were unreasonably high. And certain bands kicked major ass. I document these newsworthy events for you, dear readers, and for posterity. I usually don’t consider when I’m churning out blog-brilliance, that others may find my musings useful for their own purposes. So it was a pleasant surprise to learn yesterday that we have reached another historic milestone in the short life of this blog. I have been quoted in the Press section of the one and only HariKaraoke band’s website.

I would first like to thank the fine webmaster for this superlative honor. And I would secondly like to remind the band that it is time to add some Who songs to your songbook. You may start with Pinball Wizard. I will bring the Daltrey fringe jacket.

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Columbia Heights institution Wonderland Ballroom is closed today for repairs after me, D-press, and Izza-HC tore the mother lovin’ roof off that place at last night’s Live Band Karaoke extravaganza, courtesy of the HariKaraoke Band and quite a few $5 Pabst and Jim Beam specials. Side note: get your shit together, DC. The Special is a $3 deal in Philly, $4 max. Don’t be bringing that $5 shit, or next time I will not just tear the roof off, I will bring the entire house down.

Artist’s rendering of last night’s jam out:

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