Tapping the Hazen vault has so far paid tremendous dividends for the blog, and this new feature will pick up where previous efforts left off. I present, several days in the life of my 1st grade self. Editorial comments will appear in italics.
My Journal
Monday
Seotember 14, 1987
On the weekend I
Went swiming
Thursday
September 17, 1987
Today is the
birthday
of the
constitution [there is a picture of 3 people looking at an American flag]
Wednesday
September 23, 1987
I like to go [lowercase g is backwards] to
teh r kad [there is a picture of a person in a purple shirt in an arcade]
Monday
September
On the weekend I
wocht tv. [I don’t think I’ve ever lived in a house with pea green walls. I look very happy in a large grey chair]
Thursday October 1, 1987
We eat food I
like to eat
chez. [to this day, chez is one of my favorites]
Tuesday
October 6, 1987
At school I like to
pae rawd up
at PE [I seem to be regressing]
Monday
October 12, 1987
On the weekend
I pade wif my
frez [the z is backwards]
Wednesday
October 14, 1987
I feel haqqy [yes, the p’s are backwards]
wen i play
wif my frez [the z is backwards. Also, pick a new topic]
Monday
October 19, 1987
This weekend I
playd wif my
brudr and
wocht tv [maybe I did have a gross green room after all?]
Thursday
October 22, 1987
If you get
numonye you
shod get rest.
Use a tissue wen [line is insufficiently erased, it continues on the next page]
Use a tissue
wen you
sneeze. [Is anyone else just fucking shocked that I’m not a doctor right now?]
To be continued…
apatheticallydecomposing 
I also got numonye in the first grade. However, my diary was devoted to the subject of Andrew being a nerd.